Mackey's Birth Story (Part 3)

After Newbie was born, the only things I was looking at were the baby and Ashley, so it was a real feeling of calm, even though there was still the activity of delivering the placenta (I marvel that my body could CREATE an organ, then expel it when it’s no longer needed). But the midwives did more to handle that than I did, so I just kept staring at our baby. There were lots of things to monitor—my blood pressure, the baby's heart rate, whether she was breathing well, etc. Beverly had to do some suctioning because there was some mucus in her belly. So they took her over to the "armoire" where they keep all the instruments, and hooked up a suction machine that involved putting a tube into her mouth, down the esophagus and into the stomach. Then they turned the machine on, and it sort of vacuumed out the mucus (I didn't see it, but I learned this from Ashley, who was witnessing it). After that, all was good.


During the hours after the birth, while temperatures, heart rates, and blood pressure readings were all normal, I definitely had some spells of faintness and wooziness. It was like I was listening to myself have conversations with people, but I wasn't really there. Part of that was the rush of oxytocin and endorphins, but part was probably because of blood loss as well as my organs starting to readjust—the heart immediately drops back down into its original position after the baby is born.


After staring at our baby daughter for an hour or so, we called my parents, telling them “this is the call to get on the road—except that we’ve had the baby, and it’s a girl!” We also called Ashley’s parents, followed by our siblings. At last, we ordered some breakfast from Café Brazil (since at 10 a.m. we didn’t feel like eating the lasagna we’d brought), and then ate it on bed trays in the bed. I'd eat while Ashley held the baby, and then we switched. We listened to our "celebratory" iPod playlist, reveling in the music specially chosen for the day.


We stayed at the birth center until about 2:30, when we packed up and drove home. It was a blissful morning—one where I felt so well cared for and loved. The staff at the Birth Center was awesome—a perfect mix of knowing when to give us some privacy and when to provide care. In a word, I felt cherished. And I've never felt so unafraid to be vulnerable.


Mackey’s birth story is more than a story to me. It is a testament to following through with our plan to have a memorable birth of our first child. We wanted to experience the birth and be present for it, as opposed to getting through it by managing it with medication or instrumentation. Choosing the Birth Center and the philosophy of non-medicated, natural childbirth was the best thing we could have done to that end. Working with the midwives and with Sarah, our doula, was liberating and gave me so much respect for women as a TRIBE and for the culture of midwifery—women helping other women do what women's bodies are designed to do. I would do it all over again, exactly the same way.

Mackey's Birth Story (Part 2)

I had heard about harrowing car rides to hospitals/birth centers during labor—how uncomfortable bumpy roads could be during contractions and how sitting up could really make the pain worse. After about 15 minutes (and 3 contractions), Ashley got us safely to the Birth Center with as few bumps as possible.


After crawling up the stairs (a contraction hit right when we got there), I was safely in the birthing suite, attended by Beverly, our birth assistant. She checked me and I was already 10 cm! What a surprise!! That explained why Beverly and Sarah were racing around getting everything ready. They thought I could have the baby any minute!


At that point, all I asked was "Can I get in the tub?" Because I knew that it would feel better, and I had been thinking about having a water birth. So they filled the tub while Sarah gave me one more good double-hip-squeeze (so good to ease back labor) and Ashley got ready to join me in the tub. That tub felt SOOOOO good.

During the next hour or so, I was able to benefit from the downtime between contractions in a way that I hadn’t up to that point. They came further apart, and when they ended, they ended. And I could drape my arms over Ashley’s legs, sit back, and relax. I was leaning on Ashley and looking out at the faces of three women who were focused on a successful birth. Talk about feeling loved. It was a beautiful place to be. After several pushes in the tub, Newbie started to move down toward the birth canal. It was fascinating—the women would measure the baby’s heart rate every couple of minutes, and after each round of pushing, the heartbeat would be located lower on my belly.

Since the contractions were still pretty far apart, Cherie suggested a change of scene and I moved to squatting using the bedpost of the beautiful four-post bed in the main room. After a few rounds, my legs were spent and felt like total Jell-O. Cherie told me to sway to get some energy flowing back in my legs. I remember that Rufus Wainwright's cover of Leonard Cohen's "Everybody Knows" was on and swaying to that. It was awesome to have music to "dance" to. I asked if I could have something to get my energy back…a granola bar, perhaps? “Nah, that’ll take forever to get into your bloodstream, and you need something NOW. Get this woman some caffeine…a Dr. Pepper?” I threw back that Dr. Pepper like a college student shoots tequila on spring break. I looked at the clock: 7:30 a.m. I decided I need to have this baby by 8 a.m. or else I would be absolutely exhausted.

Since my legs were goners, getting back into the tub wasn’t an option. So I moved onto the bed. In two pushes, the baby’s head was crowning, and Cherie told me to stop so she could check for any cord. Sure enough, it was wrapped around her neck—TWICE!! I think it's because Newbie turned from posterior to anterior during transition. But Cherie deftly unwrapped it, checked which way the shoulders were more likely to move out, and then eased them out and called “Come on over, Ashley, you’re up! Get ready to catch.” And within less than a minute Ashley was placing Newbie on my chest.


The experience after Newbie was put on my chest was absolutely AMAZING. The moments run together, but there was this MAJOR transition for me from focusing on the task of delivery to suddenly focusing on this brand new baby--MY baby. It was as if there was this huge strike of a GONG! The room even changed color for me—got lighter, in a way. And when Ashley and the others looked to see if it was a boy or a girl, and then they said "It's a girl! Newbie is a girl!" I just lost it. It was so emotional…I was crying then laughing then crying again, in a state of delightful shock, especially since almost everyone had expected Newbie to be a boy.

Mackey's Birth Story (Part 1)

Our birth experience was just about everything we could want it to be—a non-medicated birth with a relatively short labor and a healthy baby and mom. We managed the entire first stage of labor at home, with our doula—the peerless Sarah Greenman—and arrived at the Birth and Women’s Center, in Dallas, ready for the action of the second stage. Two hours later, Mackey Elizabeth Smith was born.

Contractions had started around 9 p.m. Thursday, April 9, right after dinner. I did have some eggplant, but I really can’t say that it triggered labor. We started monitoring the regularity of the contractions, but without thinking that “IT” was happening yet. It was only when I lost the infamous mucus plug at 10:30 p.m. that I wondered if something more intense was happening.

Around 12:30 a.m., after continued contractions and starting to employ the comfort measures we learned in our Bradley Childbirth classes, Ashley called Sarah to let her know what was happening. She said to keep her posted, and to be patient—we could be in for a long night. That long night shortened itself as Ashley called Sarah again a few minutes later to report some fluid leakage—we wondered if it was amniotic fluid. Sure enough, while Ashley was on the phone with her, my water broke (I was over the toilet—phew!). When Ashley got off the phone, he said to me, "Wow…we're going to have this baby TODAY!!" And that's when I knew I needed to be prepared to get serious. We put on the iPod playlists we'd created for the occasion and I got ready to FOCUS.

Sarah came over around 1 a.m., and from then until about 5:45 a.m. I went through both active labor AND transition (though we didn't know that until later). During that time, I was completely unaware of the passage of time. Ashley even asked me at one point if I wanted to know what time it was, and my answer was a curt, "No." I didn't want to know how long it was taking or think about how much longer I had to go. I buried myself in a state of focus to achieve the relaxation I knew was necessary to let the labor do what it needed to do.

I spent most of the labor in the bathroom, where Ashley had lit all of our sandlewood-scented candles (I had chosen one of my favorite scents as a comfort during labor). I wasn't in the tub the whole time, but I guess I found the bathroom the most versatile environment. Sarah said I was like a mama kitty, finding the smallest, darkest room in the house to labor. It wasn't conscious—which I think is fascinating—the instincts that take over when your mind gets out of the way.

Ashley was an incredible partner. He was always at my side, ready to support me, whether physically, holding me up during a squat, or emotionally, telling me that I really was DOING this. Every "You are AMAZING" worked like a tonic, not because it was meant to, but because I could tell he meant it. And if he meant it, then it must be true, so it gave me strength to face down another contraction.


Sarah was an incredible doula, both for me and for Ashley. Her wisdom and experience were invaluable as we went through something brand new to both Ashley and me. Her suggestions, whether to walk around for a bit, squat through a contraction, or do "horsey lips," helped us keep a forward progression throughout the labor. I never got scared, so I never felt that I backed away from what was happening.

In the early morning hours, my contractions went from being localized (dilating the cervix) to all-over (flexing the uterine muscles). By listening to me, Sarah could determine that it was time to head over to the Birth Center. Ashley and Sarah quickly gathered all the bags for the birth center (the mama bag and papa bag, the baby bag, and the labor bag).

We Are Family

Need I say more?

The Belly Returns

No, I'm not talking about the pregnant belly. I'm talking about the pre-pregnant belly. It's a fear we all have--will I ever look the same again? I have it, you betcha, I do. But when I weighed myself after eight days after giving birth, I was shocked--in a good way. I had already dropped 20 pounds. Check it out!


I am posting this to remind myself that the female body can sustain many changes. And while I am still very "mushy" around the middle, I now have more faith than I had during my pregnancy that I may be able to reclaim my waist of yore. Of course, there's no chance of completing a sit-up anytime soon as the muscles on my left side need to be re-introduced to the muscles on my right side. And ah...there is hot yoga in my future--4 weeks from now, that is. :)

The Last Bump

Here is the bump at 40 weeks...wait...that's no bump! That's a Baby! You betcha, my baby girl, Mackey. The sling puts her right back in womb central. Cozy as can be.

The Big Day

Newbie answered all mysteries when SHE joined us April 10, 2009 at 7:58 a.m. As most guesses to gender were "boy," we were quite surprised, and absolutely thrilled, when we learned Newbie was a GIRL!