Mackey's Birth Story (Part 3)

After Newbie was born, the only things I was looking at were the baby and Ashley, so it was a real feeling of calm, even though there was still the activity of delivering the placenta (I marvel that my body could CREATE an organ, then expel it when it’s no longer needed). But the midwives did more to handle that than I did, so I just kept staring at our baby. There were lots of things to monitor—my blood pressure, the baby's heart rate, whether she was breathing well, etc. Beverly had to do some suctioning because there was some mucus in her belly. So they took her over to the "armoire" where they keep all the instruments, and hooked up a suction machine that involved putting a tube into her mouth, down the esophagus and into the stomach. Then they turned the machine on, and it sort of vacuumed out the mucus (I didn't see it, but I learned this from Ashley, who was witnessing it). After that, all was good.


During the hours after the birth, while temperatures, heart rates, and blood pressure readings were all normal, I definitely had some spells of faintness and wooziness. It was like I was listening to myself have conversations with people, but I wasn't really there. Part of that was the rush of oxytocin and endorphins, but part was probably because of blood loss as well as my organs starting to readjust—the heart immediately drops back down into its original position after the baby is born.


After staring at our baby daughter for an hour or so, we called my parents, telling them “this is the call to get on the road—except that we’ve had the baby, and it’s a girl!” We also called Ashley’s parents, followed by our siblings. At last, we ordered some breakfast from Café Brazil (since at 10 a.m. we didn’t feel like eating the lasagna we’d brought), and then ate it on bed trays in the bed. I'd eat while Ashley held the baby, and then we switched. We listened to our "celebratory" iPod playlist, reveling in the music specially chosen for the day.


We stayed at the birth center until about 2:30, when we packed up and drove home. It was a blissful morning—one where I felt so well cared for and loved. The staff at the Birth Center was awesome—a perfect mix of knowing when to give us some privacy and when to provide care. In a word, I felt cherished. And I've never felt so unafraid to be vulnerable.


Mackey’s birth story is more than a story to me. It is a testament to following through with our plan to have a memorable birth of our first child. We wanted to experience the birth and be present for it, as opposed to getting through it by managing it with medication or instrumentation. Choosing the Birth Center and the philosophy of non-medicated, natural childbirth was the best thing we could have done to that end. Working with the midwives and with Sarah, our doula, was liberating and gave me so much respect for women as a TRIBE and for the culture of midwifery—women helping other women do what women's bodies are designed to do. I would do it all over again, exactly the same way.

Mackey's Birth Story (Part 2)

I had heard about harrowing car rides to hospitals/birth centers during labor—how uncomfortable bumpy roads could be during contractions and how sitting up could really make the pain worse. After about 15 minutes (and 3 contractions), Ashley got us safely to the Birth Center with as few bumps as possible.


After crawling up the stairs (a contraction hit right when we got there), I was safely in the birthing suite, attended by Beverly, our birth assistant. She checked me and I was already 10 cm! What a surprise!! That explained why Beverly and Sarah were racing around getting everything ready. They thought I could have the baby any minute!


At that point, all I asked was "Can I get in the tub?" Because I knew that it would feel better, and I had been thinking about having a water birth. So they filled the tub while Sarah gave me one more good double-hip-squeeze (so good to ease back labor) and Ashley got ready to join me in the tub. That tub felt SOOOOO good.

During the next hour or so, I was able to benefit from the downtime between contractions in a way that I hadn’t up to that point. They came further apart, and when they ended, they ended. And I could drape my arms over Ashley’s legs, sit back, and relax. I was leaning on Ashley and looking out at the faces of three women who were focused on a successful birth. Talk about feeling loved. It was a beautiful place to be. After several pushes in the tub, Newbie started to move down toward the birth canal. It was fascinating—the women would measure the baby’s heart rate every couple of minutes, and after each round of pushing, the heartbeat would be located lower on my belly.

Since the contractions were still pretty far apart, Cherie suggested a change of scene and I moved to squatting using the bedpost of the beautiful four-post bed in the main room. After a few rounds, my legs were spent and felt like total Jell-O. Cherie told me to sway to get some energy flowing back in my legs. I remember that Rufus Wainwright's cover of Leonard Cohen's "Everybody Knows" was on and swaying to that. It was awesome to have music to "dance" to. I asked if I could have something to get my energy back…a granola bar, perhaps? “Nah, that’ll take forever to get into your bloodstream, and you need something NOW. Get this woman some caffeine…a Dr. Pepper?” I threw back that Dr. Pepper like a college student shoots tequila on spring break. I looked at the clock: 7:30 a.m. I decided I need to have this baby by 8 a.m. or else I would be absolutely exhausted.

Since my legs were goners, getting back into the tub wasn’t an option. So I moved onto the bed. In two pushes, the baby’s head was crowning, and Cherie told me to stop so she could check for any cord. Sure enough, it was wrapped around her neck—TWICE!! I think it's because Newbie turned from posterior to anterior during transition. But Cherie deftly unwrapped it, checked which way the shoulders were more likely to move out, and then eased them out and called “Come on over, Ashley, you’re up! Get ready to catch.” And within less than a minute Ashley was placing Newbie on my chest.


The experience after Newbie was put on my chest was absolutely AMAZING. The moments run together, but there was this MAJOR transition for me from focusing on the task of delivery to suddenly focusing on this brand new baby--MY baby. It was as if there was this huge strike of a GONG! The room even changed color for me—got lighter, in a way. And when Ashley and the others looked to see if it was a boy or a girl, and then they said "It's a girl! Newbie is a girl!" I just lost it. It was so emotional…I was crying then laughing then crying again, in a state of delightful shock, especially since almost everyone had expected Newbie to be a boy.

Mackey's Birth Story (Part 1)

Our birth experience was just about everything we could want it to be—a non-medicated birth with a relatively short labor and a healthy baby and mom. We managed the entire first stage of labor at home, with our doula—the peerless Sarah Greenman—and arrived at the Birth and Women’s Center, in Dallas, ready for the action of the second stage. Two hours later, Mackey Elizabeth Smith was born.

Contractions had started around 9 p.m. Thursday, April 9, right after dinner. I did have some eggplant, but I really can’t say that it triggered labor. We started monitoring the regularity of the contractions, but without thinking that “IT” was happening yet. It was only when I lost the infamous mucus plug at 10:30 p.m. that I wondered if something more intense was happening.

Around 12:30 a.m., after continued contractions and starting to employ the comfort measures we learned in our Bradley Childbirth classes, Ashley called Sarah to let her know what was happening. She said to keep her posted, and to be patient—we could be in for a long night. That long night shortened itself as Ashley called Sarah again a few minutes later to report some fluid leakage—we wondered if it was amniotic fluid. Sure enough, while Ashley was on the phone with her, my water broke (I was over the toilet—phew!). When Ashley got off the phone, he said to me, "Wow…we're going to have this baby TODAY!!" And that's when I knew I needed to be prepared to get serious. We put on the iPod playlists we'd created for the occasion and I got ready to FOCUS.

Sarah came over around 1 a.m., and from then until about 5:45 a.m. I went through both active labor AND transition (though we didn't know that until later). During that time, I was completely unaware of the passage of time. Ashley even asked me at one point if I wanted to know what time it was, and my answer was a curt, "No." I didn't want to know how long it was taking or think about how much longer I had to go. I buried myself in a state of focus to achieve the relaxation I knew was necessary to let the labor do what it needed to do.

I spent most of the labor in the bathroom, where Ashley had lit all of our sandlewood-scented candles (I had chosen one of my favorite scents as a comfort during labor). I wasn't in the tub the whole time, but I guess I found the bathroom the most versatile environment. Sarah said I was like a mama kitty, finding the smallest, darkest room in the house to labor. It wasn't conscious—which I think is fascinating—the instincts that take over when your mind gets out of the way.

Ashley was an incredible partner. He was always at my side, ready to support me, whether physically, holding me up during a squat, or emotionally, telling me that I really was DOING this. Every "You are AMAZING" worked like a tonic, not because it was meant to, but because I could tell he meant it. And if he meant it, then it must be true, so it gave me strength to face down another contraction.


Sarah was an incredible doula, both for me and for Ashley. Her wisdom and experience were invaluable as we went through something brand new to both Ashley and me. Her suggestions, whether to walk around for a bit, squat through a contraction, or do "horsey lips," helped us keep a forward progression throughout the labor. I never got scared, so I never felt that I backed away from what was happening.

In the early morning hours, my contractions went from being localized (dilating the cervix) to all-over (flexing the uterine muscles). By listening to me, Sarah could determine that it was time to head over to the Birth Center. Ashley and Sarah quickly gathered all the bags for the birth center (the mama bag and papa bag, the baby bag, and the labor bag).

We Are Family

Need I say more?

The Belly Returns

No, I'm not talking about the pregnant belly. I'm talking about the pre-pregnant belly. It's a fear we all have--will I ever look the same again? I have it, you betcha, I do. But when I weighed myself after eight days after giving birth, I was shocked--in a good way. I had already dropped 20 pounds. Check it out!


I am posting this to remind myself that the female body can sustain many changes. And while I am still very "mushy" around the middle, I now have more faith than I had during my pregnancy that I may be able to reclaim my waist of yore. Of course, there's no chance of completing a sit-up anytime soon as the muscles on my left side need to be re-introduced to the muscles on my right side. And ah...there is hot yoga in my future--4 weeks from now, that is. :)

The Last Bump

Here is the bump at 40 weeks...wait...that's no bump! That's a Baby! You betcha, my baby girl, Mackey. The sling puts her right back in womb central. Cozy as can be.

The Big Day

Newbie answered all mysteries when SHE joined us April 10, 2009 at 7:58 a.m. As most guesses to gender were "boy," we were quite surprised, and absolutely thrilled, when we learned Newbie was a GIRL!

The difference perspective makes

Between these two pictures, which one shows me more pregnant?



Okay...it's a trick question. They were taken about 3 days apart. Just interesting how much of a difference it makes to view from the side as opposed to the front. Of course, in the front view, I can see Newbie "pooching" me out at the sides as s/he seeks more room, but you wouldn't immediately guess how big my belly is when you just look at me from the front.

But so let's talk about the view from 39 weeks. I really had thought that by this time I would be doing the pregnancy waddle, holding my back, and saying things like "get this thing out of me." But I feel better than I thought I would. Sleeping is absolutely getting more difficult (rolling from side to side is quite a chore--it's almost easier to push myself upright, scoot around sitting up, and then lie back down), drying my feet after a shower takes more balance and dexterity than usual, my ankles swell a bit after a day of running errands, and some sitting positions just don't work for me, but I still feel pretty good.

Here's to a few days of R&R, taking some time to enjoy the downtime before the big time.

A matter of days...

...not weeks.

Wow, that is saying something. All of the counting up the weeks...getting into the twenties, then the thirties...and now it's 10 days from our due date. Holy macarole! Of course, it also LOOKS like we're 10 days away. Check it out:

Of course, what you can also see is that Newbie is still up pretty high. At my last appointment, I got some coaching on how to do squats the right way (apparently, all the squatting I've done lately hasn't been doing anything to get the baby to move down). So, now I squat against a wall, keeping my pelvis either vertical, or tilted forward. It's also good practice for delivery, I think, because a slightly reclined squat is one option for a "pushing" position.

Newbie, come on DOWN!!!

But why...?

That is a question I often get when I tell people that we're planning on a natural childbirth for Newbie. "Why? when you have the option of NOT being in pain?" Either that or a "good luck" or a "more power to you, but that's crazy." Not EVERYONE is dubious of this choice, mind you, but maybe it begs some explanation.

No, it's not because I'm a no-drug, no-anesthesia loon. And no, it's not because I'm a bra-burning "I am woman hear me roar" type of gal (though after I go through it, I may become one, so watch out). It's a bit more complicated than that. It really comes from not wanting this birth experience to be a "medical" one and wanting it to be a "natural" one. Natural in the sense that this is a normal experience, not something that is a condition for which I need treatment.

But as we've been going through our Bradley Childbirth classes (and here's a link if you want to know about that: http://www.bradleybirth.com), I've also started to desire a level of consciousness of the experience. I believe that a natural birth will allow me to be PRESENT during the process. Yes, it will hurt. But I won't be hooked up to a monitor with an IV in my arm and a catheter both in my spine and in my nether regions. I will be able to move around. I'll be free. Who knows...I may get a bit of the animal instinct and do crazy things like squat or be on all fours.

Crazy? Hardly--it's how women have given birth for centuries until the medical profession decided that it was easier for THEM if a woman delivered a baby on her back. I think those doctors skipped out on their physics classes and have forgotten that gravity is actually a universal law. Being on your back is not likely to bring a baby DOWN. I learned that birthing chairs (they look like broad-bottomed toilets, but without the water bowl beneath) were common practice until the late 19th century. Take a look at this picture of a chair, a feature of a Science Museum in London. Hmm....sitting in a chair is awfully close to squatting--just easier on the legs.

But being PRESENT is something I also associate with yoga. Yoga is not about escaping the body, tuning out sensations, and just getting a workout (though I've been to some yoga classes done to rock music that would certainly make you think so). It's about tuning IN to the body, listening and feeling for sensations that might have another message associated. A good yoga practice should feel like cherishing your body as well as exploring its limits. With a natural birth, I feel there is more respect for the body and what it can do. Rather than conquering the body, numbing it from the waist down, I am willing to try to let my body conquer my mind.

Our choice has also been driven by where we've chosen to have the birth--a Birth Center, where certified nurse midwives manage all of the prenatal care and are the actual people delivering the baby. No "maternity ward" with shift-changes and doctors on and off call. But real women who only deliver babies for a living and who have lots of tricks up their sleeves for letting a birth happen. Here's an interesting fact--the true emergency c-section rate in the world is about 1 percent, whereas the c-section rate at the hospital where I would have given birth is 50-60 percent. I think I've just defined "medical intervention."

Okay...I'm ranting and I haven't even gone through this yet. I'll be the first to call myself a hypocrite if the experience goes south. But I guess I just wanted to clear the air on the whole "why natural" question.

A resemblance to...

...Alfred Hitchcock?

Well, that's a bit what Newbie looked like in the sonogram we had yesterday. We needed to confirm that Newbie was indeed head down (and that's what we found), but it gave us a chance to take a peek in on the babe during these last few weeks. It's really hard to see anything when the baby is so big at this point, but Newbie happened to be awake and alert...and doing a bit of thumb-sucking!!

Why Hitchcock? Well, if you think of the film-maker's famous profile, it's a bit easier to make out the features of Newbie's face...the cheeks, nose, and where the hand is covering the nose (Newbie sucks thumb open-handed, apparently). Take a look:


We've already speculated as to whether this means Newbie will be a thumb-sucker outside of the womb, but we prefer to think this means that s/he will be a self-soother with a healthy suckling instinct.

But really...wow...that was really fun to watch, and made it all the more real how...well...REAL this is!

Birthday...

...mine, not Newbie's :)

We celebrated my last birthday pre-mom-hood with my parents at Rise, a French restaurant in Dallas specializing in Souffle. In a sense, we were re-living an experience from last summer, when Ashley and I met up with my parents in Paris and went to Le Souffle, a restaurant that my mom had been to when she lived in Paris over 30 years ago. So nice that it was still there. We had three courses of souffle, and while they are lovey, airy little things, we were all quite full by the end of the meal. And although Ashley said he might have had his full of souffle for the next decade or so, he was game for a more moderate souffle experience (i.e. just one course, not three!).


Afterward, Ashley surprised me with a birthday cake and candles as well as the most ginormous mylar balloon I've ever seen. The best part was the cats reaction to the balloon. Wiley couldn't be in the same room with it for about three days. My birthday wish? Can't tell...but I sure hope it counts because I think I just BARELY managed to get all the candles blown out in one breath.

The Nursery Nears Completion

With the addition of a rocking chair (that I was rocked in as a baby), a handmade afghan (courtesy of my mom), a diaper pail, a pair of rugs, and a pad for changing the diapers, we are Newbie-ready! The dresser has been stocked with the essentials (onesies, sleep sacks, and blankets), and we have our first packages of diapers in the closet, where Ashley built some storage shelves. It's really a nice room, and I've been using it for yoga as well as some relaxation exercises--building up some good ju-ju for when Newbie has moved in. You can see that Wiley approves. We also have a twin bed in the room for easy-access (read: sleep-deprived crashing) during the frequent middle-of-the-night feedings.

All that's missing is the baby!

And the Belly Goes On...

...and on. At 36 weeks, Newbie is still "way UP in Alaska" (according to my midwife) but certainly moving OUT toward other continents.

Baby Shower

Yesterday marked a watershed in the ongoing story of preparing for Newbie. My friend, Sarah, hosted a perfect baby shower for friends and family. And while the ladies gathered, Sarah's husband, Jack, rallied the men for some manly activities (read: Sunday morning pubcrawling).

Sarah had a gorgeous (and yummy) spread, complete with Dry Sodas, fruit, flowers, strata (dubbed "Eric Strata" after my first childhood crush), and...CAKE BALLS! The mood was made even more perfect with background music including many French favorites for the francophiles.


After a delicious ritual of "ladies who brunch," the showering began. Walker Starr, Jack and Sarah's little boy, was indeed the star, as he entertained us, helped open gifts, and gave the best impersonation of Oliver Twist as he nabbed all the blueberries ("boo") from our plates.





It was fun to share some family stories, look at baby pictures of each of the ladies, and "ooh" and "ahh" over the cutie-patootie onesies, caps, booties, etc.





And when the men came back from the Old Monk, we had just enough time for a father-daughter round of dueling bellies. I think we're neck-and-neck...

As long as the cats approve

With Newbie arriving in ~7 weeks, I don't think Kiera and Wiley know quite what they're in for. They live quite blissful lives, sleeping more often than waking, using our laps as furniture, and shedding to their hearts' content.

Kiera has shown obvious signs that she likes the belly. As with a few weeks ago, we've captured her again nestling on the belly. Newbie was particularly active during this catnap, and I wonder if she could feel anything (or really noticed/cared). I think she likes that the bump props her up a bit higher and she can get closer to my face.

To all those leery of cats sleeping with baby...we do have a "tent" installed over the crib should they feel the need to explore Newbie's territory. They'll have to wait a few years until the third lap is ready.

It's All Belly from Here

So, there's a little gap between belly pics...

The last "official" shot being at 28 weeks. Well, Newbie has been growing, so at 33 weeks, the belly has become worthy of capital letters: BELLY.

And you know all that talk about how your hair grows faster when you're pregnant? Hello! I think it's just mostly thicker (apparently because less of it falls out) as opposed to longer. But good-hair days are a great balance for big-belly days.

33 weeks

Like-bellied Ladies

Last weekend, we visited our friends Cari and Eric, who live in Long Beach. They showed us around LA and hosted us in their groovy condo in LB. Not only was it great to catch up, but also great to talk so much about shared experiences. Cari is also pregnant, about 8 weeks behind us, and she's having a girl. So we talked a lot about how our lives have changed since our younger days living in Austin and how our lives are about to change even more as we approach parenthood.

While we were visiting one of her condo neighbors who just had a baby in late January, our bellies were captured on camera. Pretty cute!

Working Mom (to be)

My mom came to visit last weekend, which was great. We got to talk pregnancy and parenting and she helped me register at Babies R Us--really one of my least favorite places to be. It's so overwhelming.

As luck would have it, I had to do some work over the weekend, which meant bringing my mom up to my office for a little bit. And she took these pictures...so THIS is what it looks like to be a working (almost) mom!

By the way...those are Ashley's paintings on the walls...my "windows" of escape within a window-less office.

Ah...belly...like a big pillow

Kiera has always been a lap cat, and as my lap changes, she is finding ways of leveraging the changing landscape. She's probably not going to know what hit her when Newbie arrives and our laps are suddenly much more scarce.

Third Trimester Begins

And we're off and running! Okay...there's no WAY I'm running with this belly. But it is off to the races in the sense that I know these next 12 weeks (and now, really 11) will go by quickly. Time is flying so quickly that I'm horribly behind on the belly-bump-photo front.




Yes, indeed...we do have BABY in there...

28 weeks

Happy New Year!

We rung in the new year on a little in-town vacation (or "stay-cation" as I've heard it called), spending the evening at the Belmont Hotel in Oak Cliff, a neighborhood in south Dallas.

It's an older hotel built in 1946 that has been maintained and renovated (think 1940s retro-chic--they call it mid-century luxury, or Arte Moderne) and has one of the best views of downtown Dallas. Room, private party at the bar, champagne toast and midnight, and breakfast included in a package deal. It was a great surprise, and a fun excuse to get dressed up and go out, without the danger of driving around with all the crazy amateurs.

And while I couldn't partake in the bar shenanigans (we even skipped the champagne toast, sort of by accident), I did manage to indulge in a couple of mocktails (cranberry and soda, to be exact, shown below). It was rather chilly out on the rooftop bar, so we sat in the lobby and people-watched.

All in all, a fabulous way to spend the last New Year's Eve without a little one. Quite possibly the last time we see midnight on purpose!!